Tag Archives: tolerance

“And Just Like The River, I Been A Runnin’ — Ever Since!”

[Continued from July 31, 2011]

But who knows just how long we’ve all been running.  I haven’t been watching the mile markers:  They’ll only make me psych myself out.

It’s all in mind, you see.  The game — is all in the mind.  The race, the run, the marathon.  So, I rein mine in:  I don’t judge other humans — and I don’t compete.

This sport — is in the very doing of it:  You against you.  And if you do it for the love of you — you’ll go farther, and longer.

This City — THE City — has taught me that.

Speaking of THE City:  We have now been unleashed into Her.  After warming up and hydrating us quite plenty in the park, the masterful, gracious hosts of my first half-marathon have opened the gates — and straight onto Haight we go.  I have been watching my breath until now, while running through the park:  It’s a resilience thing.  But here is where it skips, I must say.  I’m breathless:  This City — is a vision!

The locals have spilled out onto the streets once designed by someone with unreasonable imagination:  Families, youngsters, couples — of all shades, shapes, ages and sexes; teenagers in want of inspiration or curiosity; children with dreamy eyes, and dogs — with confused ones.  Funky descendants of hippies that have long ago migrated here:  They’re beautiful boys with long hair and girls with compassionate faces.

“…V to the izz-A!” Sean Carter starts hollering into my ear, from my running playlist.  “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the 8th Wonder of the World!”  Yep.  This City — THE City — deserves no less!

Lovers in various relationships have been watching us from each other’s embraces or from the opposite windows of their half of a hexagon rotundas.  A lonesome woman timidly smiles at me, from her second floor balcony; and in the midst of her sadness, I think:

“When was the last time she was found beautiful?”

“Beautiful!” I holler up to her, simultaneously with “H to the izz-O!”.

At every intersection, every traffic light, the San Francisco policemen and women remind me of volunteering Hells Angels; and they do one of two stances:  Either they root themselves through their black-leather-bound legs (they’ve got this!). Or they pace while swooshing their gloved hands through the air in the direction of the finish line.

But who knows just how long we’ve been running, and how much longer we’ve got left!  Who knows — and who the hell cares?!

A glorious family of six has taken over an island in the middle of a street — all blonde, tall, and boho-chic — and they have been extending their hands into the avalanche of runners crashing down the hill.  I haven’t greeted that gesture yet, from anyone:  It’s a resilience thing.  But the youngest of the family, standing at the very end of the island, like the broody teenager he is supposed to be, shakes his tousled surfer curls out of his face and studies me with his blue-gray eyes.

“Looks like Joseph — my future son,” flashes across my mind.

Joseph extends his hand, right in front of my womb — and I tap it.  His hand feels dry and callused, belonging to the young man that he is supposed to become.

A symphonic tune begins winding up and Bono comes in, screeching:  “At the moment of surrender, I folded to my knees.”  I tear up.

Soon, my baby-boy.  I shall see you very soon, back in this City:  THE City.

An older couple is jogging slowly.  I wait for a reasonable gap in between them and I pass:

“I’m right behind you,” I hear her say to her man.

“I’m not going anywhere!” he responds.

Who knows just how long we’ve all been running.  I haven’t been watching the mile markers:  It’s a resilience thing.

At every water station, I soak up the faces of the volunteers.  I lap ‘em up, actually, drink them all in; and regardless that “resilience thing” of mine, I make sure to thank them.  The very specific, very studious boy with dreadlocks who is sweeping the plastic cups from under our feet, the crunch of which has become my own mile marker:  He extends his free arm to salute us with a victory sign and doesn’t crack a smile.  This is no laughing matter here!  This is THE City:  United!

The Asian boy that has handed me water:  While I find my mouth busy with the sensation of it, I thank him with a kind tap over his heart.  He grins.  He’s wearing braces.

A brown girl gives me both of her cups, then pumps the air with her fist:  Power!

Here comes in Nina Simone, right on time and perfectly poignant, as always:  “Yeah!  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,”  My steps are liking her rhythm.  Take it away, you goddess!  And, oh, how she does! Alright ye!”  

I pick up the pace.

An aging small man is jogging calmly with an aging small dog trailing right behind.  They aren’t in any rush.  They’re just doing their thing.

A woman with some handicap affecting the evenness of her stride:  You do your thing, love!  You do your thing!  And don’t EVER let anyone treat you inconsequentially!

The two young men in nerdy knit hats are in the midst of a chill conversation:  Awesome!  I pass ‘em.

The two poster boys for what health looks like up in the Bay are strutting their surfer bodies along the Embarcadero:  Breathless!  I pass them too.

“It’s just the way the game is played!  It’s best — if you just wait your turn,” RiRi is right on top of me.  I think of my brother.  He calls me RaRa.

The gossip spreads:  The finish line is ever so close.  Very close, somewhere past the bridge.  My calves are feeling like they’ve taken over half of my body weight, in blood.

Still:  I pick up the pace.

Past the cowboy offering swings of vodka on the sideline.  Past the flamboyantly dancing chicken suit.  Past the gentleman jogging in a pink tutu.  Past the girl running with a pair of fairy wings on her back.

Past, past, past!

Past the wide-eyed boy looking up at his mother with complete worship.  (Joseph?)  Past the little girl running like a girl along her mother’s thigh.  Both are wearing matching t-shirts that say, “RUN LIKE A GIRL!”

And who knows just how long I’ve been running; but suddenly, there is some sort of a tilt — a bump on the road, a hill — and:  I see the blue banner of the finish line.  No longer do I feel half of my body weight in my calves, in blood.  Neither am I any longer aware of my playlist.

Here.  We.  Go.

I leap.  I fly.  I zip, in between.  I zoom.

Faces!  Faces!  Faces!  Screaming the name of their beloveds — or just screaming.  Beautiful faces!  Breathless City!  THE City.

Past!  Past!  Past the lingering jogger to my left!  Past the ambitious, athletic honey to my right.  This is it!  I am here!  In.  THE.  City.

I cross the line.

And although I haven’t been watching the mile markers (and I have yet to see my end time), all of this has been for the very doing of it and for the very love of this City — THE City!  My gratitude floods in.  Or rather, it has never really left me, 13.1 miles ago.

In the name of the sport, we’ve all been running for a very long time and committing our personal feats of courage:  It’s a human resilience thing.  And, yes!  It has been completely worth it!  And so has this City.

THE City.

Hesbians of the World: Unite!

I thought I would wait till Friday to rant on this upcoming bit — kinda give you V’s lil’ Week in Review then — but the venom is rising quicker than I predicted.  This morning, it choked the living breath out of me before my alarm had a chance to wake me with its hideous drill at the regular five o’clock; then crowded my brain as the first waking thought.  And I pinky swear:  I’ve even started blackening my smooth electronic page with the tale of a girlfriend’s woes:  she loves him, he can’t commit, she’s torn, “Where is all this going?”, etc, etc, etc.  But a discussion of these valid and delicate and somewhat vague struggles in a heterosexual couple seems a tiny bit gratuitous when nearly every day of this week, I’ve hung my head with painful despair at the injustice and pure violence placed upon the men and women of homosexual orientation.

The week started with my introduction to an atrocious event I’ve never even heard of before.  It came as link on a Facebook page of a woman mentor I adore so much that every word she utters and every choice she commits I lap-up as my personal, private sermon.  That badass chick has devoted her life to traveling with her three gorgeous adoptive sons in tow, settling in primarily Third World Countries and teaching.  She is currently working with children and women in South Africa, blasting her always poignant, sometimes political and often humorous observations on the newsfeed.

“You go, with you badass self!” I always think when I read her words, wishing I could be just like her when I grow up.

So when the following link came to my attention, I treated it with immediate empathy:  https://secure.avaaz.org/en/stop_corrective_rape_6/?rc=fb.  To break it down for you, my comrades, it speaks of nearly a year old series of continuous attacks on South African lesbians by men on a mission to cure them of their homosexuality via “Corrective Rape,” and in the case of Eudy Simelane, murder — acts that the country’s government refuses to “prioritize as a specific project.”

“Corrective Rape”?  ‘Scuse me:  I gotta go hurl my guts out!…

…Okay, I’m back.

While dripping venom onto my keyboard, I hurry to acknowledge that you, my magnificent comrades and readers, aspire to comprehend humanity already.  Just by the response of those of you courageous enough to handle my rants on the daily basis, I am willing to conclude that, just like me, you prefer to see this world be dominated by kindness and compassion; you choose to understand it and, what’s most crucial — to learn about it.  So, you don’t really need my venomous heaves on the subject of rape — the most heinous crime the human race could think up.  But to violate a woman due to one’s overwhelming hatred, ignorance and lack of tolerance, and then to treat that act as one of public service — that’s hubris beyond all comprehension.  And since you, my magnificent walking proofs of goodness, are already on the same page — my fuckin’ page! — I call upon your awareness:  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/southafrica/4982520/Lesbians-subjected-to-corrective-rape-in-South-Africa.html.  If mere knowledge is not enough for you, however:  Go do something about it, my glorious badasses:  https://secure.avaaz.org/en/stop_corrective_rape_6/?rc=fb!

On the hump day of this week, the world regurgitated another piece of info that got V all riled-up:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/30/us/30immigration.html?_r=1&ref=us.

Considering my liberal mindset and my own history of immigration-related strife, the news of deportation of foreign-born partners in legally married homosexual couples — is a double whammy.  Yep, I hear some o’ ya’, comrades:  Gay couples can finally get married in, like, six states already!  So, shouldn’t that be enough?  As another magnificent mentor I admire says:

“Fuck no!”

(Well, actually, he’s Russian; so, “Fuck nyet!” — he said.)

Now, I’ve already cast my vote in favor of this country when I took on its citizenship; and, by now, Shiva knows, I’ve taken full advantage of the freedoms that it has granted me.  (Read my “ranty-cunty” blog at:  fromrussianwithlove.wordpress.com.  Spasibo!)  But, when it comes to tolerance — it is never enough.

How does that one-of-a-kind, world’s youngest phenomenon’s Declaration go:

“WE hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal…” (Fuck da!)

“…that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.”

(Mmm-hmm, I just copied that out of my own personal booklet I was given with my American Citizenship Certificate, at the standee of my first brown President!  V — be very, very proud!)

“Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.”  Now, doesn’t the mere founding theory of this country give you a hard-on?!  I got me one!  So, as the world continues to throw-up the tales of human inventiveness in ways to hurt each other, may we continue living-up to the better principles and the basic human rights that started this magnificent experiment in the first place.  May we continue to grow and change; and as in any relationship, in the one we have with the rest of the world — may we affect it in all the right ways.